Dealing with Hurt & Learning to love others

Let me start by putting a disclaimer out there – I am sure plenty has been written about this subject by many more educated & professional people than myself.  I am not a professional counselor or award winning psychologist or even remotely claim to be knowledgeable in up to date medical literature which may offer proven ways of dealing with hurt. I’m just a girl who has had to deal with hurt and this is some of my story.

Hurt is relative. What may be hurtful to one, is not hurtful to another. I have also never experienced what is considered to be incredibly hurtful situations such as a losing a child, a spouse, going through a divorce, having a traumatic accident, etc. But I do know if you live in this life you are acquainted with some degree of hurt.

Without going into too much detail, the past year has been full of several difficult, hurtful situations for my immediate family and me. Some of which are still ongoing with no foreseeable end in sight. All we can do at this point is stand on the promises of God. I compare it to having an open wound which never ceases to close or heal, no matter what antibiotics or remedy is prescribed. You just have to continue to trust God is in control.

Yet in the midst of all this it has been one of the happiest years of my life. I feel like this is the start of the Charles Dickens novel, A Tale of Two Cities... “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”

Here are a few things I have had to learn & relearn & relearn & relearn (and still learning!) over the past year – as new experiences bring a deeper meaning to what I thought I had already learned.


  1. Respond in peace & love. Romans 12:18 / Hebrews 12: 14
  2. Remain faithful to God. This is not a time to give up on God.
  3. Forgive, forget & move on because that is what God has done with my sin and continues to do each day. I am not perfect nor is anyone else.IMG_7669
  4. Focus on the positive & have a grateful attitude.
  5. In the multitude of counselors there is safety. Don’t turn to social media to face your problems. Turn to a trusted elder or friend. Listen and heed the advice of those with more experience, wisdom & life lessons.
  6. Allow yourself time to heal. This is the nurse in me talking, but I see it all too often with people who have had what is considered “minor” surgery and they think they will be up and back on their feet in no time. They often get frustrated they are not where they think they should be. Surgery is still surgery no matter how big or small. For surgery on our physical body we need time, proper rest, nutrition & medication to heal. It is the same for our emotional & spiritual health. You have to allow time for proper healing or you might develop a wound, infection, scar tissue, etc. Sometimes if there is not proper healing you can end up back in the hospital with possibly another surgery. I want my spiritual/emotional wounds to be healed completly so there is no second wound or repeat hospitalization.
  7. If someone has an opinion about someone else, let it be just that, their opinion. Don’t treat others based upon what other’s have told you about someone.
  8. Take time to examine your inner man.  What is God trying to work out in my spirit? In order to bear the fruit of the spirit, things have to die, change and be pruned.IMG_7670
  9. Man will always fail you – no matter how educated/ uneducated, anointed/not anointed, church going/non church going, Holy Ghost filled/not Holy Ghost filled, etc. Bottom line is you have to learn to focus on God and not allow your relationship with God to be affected because man failed you.
  10. My job is to serve God, not to fix mankind or prove I’m right (because I’m not).
  11.  Love others. Sounds simple enough… but putting it into action somedays can bring on an entire new meaning… Help me Lord Jesus!IMG_7668

Difficult situations have a way of pruning us into who God is wanting us to be and where He is wanting to take us. While we often cannot see the grand plan behind it all, we have to
just trust the process and continue to move forward, one day at a time.




I end this post with a passage of scripture which has really helped me this past year. It is from 1 Corithians 13 vs 1-8, New Living Translation

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 


** Feature picture of sunset was taken by my daughter, Makayla Mangrum. All verses used in the pictures were developed by using the YouVersion app of the Bible.

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